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  With a jolt, she realised she’d wandered into the kitchen, where the kettle sat ready on the bench. A light ironic laugh escaped her. A nice cup of tea, the age-old standby for any upset or trauma. It was going to take more than a caddy full of teabags to ease her pain tonight. Or for a long, long time.

  Hot mug in hand, she returned to her room and surveyed the jumbled bedclothes, where she’d been lying, her mind in turmoil. Tomorrow she’d explain why she’d been upset to the guys and Narelle. They’d hug her, say they were sorry, and promise their support.

  She closed her eyes. For now, she’d...

  Tremble? She was shaking from head to foot, the liquid in her mug slopping to the floor. With effort, she managed to set it on her bedside table before collapsing onto the crumpled sheets and curling into a ball.

  Her heart throbbed with every hot tear that ran down her cheek, and she made no attempt to check them. She sobbed until her tear ducts were dry, her throat was raw and croaky and her ribs hurt from her shuddering breaths. Until, despite her conviction she’d be awake all night, the trauma of her encounter with Jack and insomnia from the night before took their toll and she fell into dreamless sleep.

  * * *

  She woke with a pounding headache, a damp pillow under her cheek and shivering from lying on top of her quilt. Her ceiling light stung her eyes and she covered them with her hands as she rolled off the bed.

  Drinking the cold tea eased her dry throat. Her alarm clock read eleven forty-six, meaning she’d slept for over three hours. Her skin was cold and clammy, breathing was painful, and a bleak future loomed ahead. She swallowed two analgesic tablets, grabbed her towel from the rail on her door and headed for the bathroom.

  The hot water was refreshing and helped clear the fog in her brain, leaving a troubling vision. Jack, his hands alternating between clenching and splaying, his chest heaving with agitation, and his eyes hauntingly shell-shocked.

  Those were the fascinating green eyes that had shone with laughter, playfully enticed her out of her comfort zone and flared with passion as he’d made love to her. Now, in her mind’s view, pain and disbelief dominated in their depths.

  She’d convinced herself she’d only be a pleasant interlude in his life. Had she been devastatingly wrong?

  Wrapped in her winter dressing gown, she accessed the photo she’d taken at the beach for the umpteenth time since that day. She loved his macho stance and, as she’d believed, his indulgent expression. This time, as she lightly traced his smiling image with her fingertip, she really looked with an open mind and heart.

  A lump formed in her throat and tears fell unchecked as she saw the truth she’d never dared to dream. His eyes glowed with adoration. And they were focused directly at her.

  He’d said he loved her. Jack didn’t lie. Waves of longing rippled through her, tingles of warmth drove the chill from her skin, and her heart soared with hope.

  Oh, Jack, I’ve been so stupid. You really do care for me and I rejected you without a valid explanation because of my childish fears. Will you...can you forgive me?

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  JACK POUNDED ALONG the beach, his feet kicking up a spray as the tide’s ripples washed around his runners. A full day after fleeing from Cassie’s home, the pain was still unbearable. He avoided looking seawards, knowing the sun was beginning to sink behind the clouds, sending a wash of colours across the horizon. A picturesque backdrop that Cassie would adore. She’d smile, her eyes would light up, and he’d be unable to resist kissing her.

  Hell, he’d found it nigh on impossible to resist her from the moment she’d wriggled out from under his aunt’s coffee table. He’d been a fool not to realise it was more than physical attraction when a mere brush of flesh could jolt him like a high-voltage terminal.

  He loved her and refused to believe the passion she’d shown in his bed was anything else than the ardour that had consumed him. Her responses to his kisses and caresses had made him feel more of a man than he ever had in his life.

  Would she still be working for Mel? If so, maybe his aunt’s sympathetic nature would draw her into revealing why she’d suddenly rejected him. Maybe...

  He faced the truth. Whatever had spooked Cassie was very real to her. The dogged tenacity people labelled him with, tempered with patience, was his best chance of proving his love. When, please fate make it soon, she accepted they were meant for each other, he’d be waiting.

  Two long, hard runs on sand in twenty-one hours were taking their toll as he turned off the beach. Last night he’d changed into a tracksuit and runners in the garage as soon as he’d arrived home at about ten. He’d turned his concentration inward, blocking out everything but the swinging of his arms, the pounding of his legs and the thump-squish of his runners on wet sand.

  Tonight, as he powered around the corner, sharp tingles skittled down his spine. He glanced left and right. Nothing. Trying to shake off the feeling, he slowed for the last few metres and activated his roller door.

  On the way through the laundry, he dropped his T-shirt and tracksuit top onto the washing machine. Whether Cassie ever knew or not, she’d subtly changed him. He’d always keep his home neat and tidy; now it was also beginning to look lived in.

  He went to the kitchen sink and swallowed two tall glasses of water. Shower first, nuke something from the freezer later.

  His doorbell rang as he took the first stair, and his first instinct was to ignore it. Not a good idea if it was one of his cousins, come to check why he’d been abrupt on the phone to Val this afternoon.

  Bracing for a cheer-up encounter, he opened the door. His breath whooshed from his lungs, his heart somersaulted, then took off like a speedboat, and he knew, absolutely knew for certain, he was wearing the soppiest smile ever.

  Cassie, gorgeous, light of his life and possessor of his heart, stood on his doorstep, hands tightly gripping her handbag, white teeth biting the corner of her mouth and an anxious, pensive look in her beautiful walnut-brown eyes, big as saucers.

  He couldn’t fathom why she’d come, thanked every star in the sky that she had, and stood aside to let her in. It took effort not to touch her to ensure it wasn’t a dream. Couldn’t be. If it were, she’d be wrapped tight to his body, her eyes would be sparkling and her musical laugh would be zinging through him.

  * * *

  Cassie’s feet were reluctant to obey his tacit invitation. Her brain commanded she stay and drink in the sight of Jack, dressed in track pants, sweat glistening from his naked muscled torso, until she was satiated.

  She was breathless. His chest expanded easily. She was trembling. He appeared to be solid as a rock. Her frayed nerves were stretched to breaking point, and he was smiling as if...as if she were bringing his complete Christmas wish list.

  ‘Cassie?’ He only had to say her name and she was molten to the core. She’d spent the day imagining his every possible reaction to her appearance after her adamant statements last night. Most had been cordial at best; she’d even prepared for total rejection. Not once had she visualised his sharp intake of air, the fire flash in his green eyes, and his brilliant, welcoming smile.

  Hugging her bag to her chest, she sidled past him, catching the tang of sandalwood, male sweat, and him. The slightest touch and she’d throw herself into his arms.

  Every cell in her body was tuned to him as he followed at a socially respectable distance along the hall. The lounge looked as neat as always, except...the alpine painting was missing from the wall. Now she understood its significance.

  Heart palpitating, she pivoted to face him, and found half a room distance between them. Framed in the doorway, he gazed at her as if he couldn’t quite believe she was here.

  ‘Cassie, I...’ He cleared his throat and gestured at himself. ‘I’ve been running. Give me five minutes to shower and change.’

  She no
dded, not sure where her voice had gone. She regretted his intention to cover up his magnificently honed torso, though it would definitely prove a distraction from serious discussion.

  ‘Take a seat or you can make coffee if you like.’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘Just don’t disappear. I love you, Cassie Clarkson.’

  His leaving coincided with her legs buckling at the repetition of his earlier declaration. Collapsing onto the sofa, she hugged herself, torn between joy and trepidation. She loved him, would forgive anything in his past. With eyes shut, she prayed he felt the same and could overlook the insecurities that had governed her actions.

  She discarded her coat, paced the lounge while the coffee brewed, and rearranged the blue cushions. Put the steaming mugs on the coffee table and sat. Her stomach rumbled; she hadn’t eaten since lunch, couldn’t have kept anything, however light, down. Footsteps on the stairs shot her to her feet, spinning round.

  Jack walked in and her world shrank to the space between them. He was the epitome of a Hollywood hero, dressed in navy chinos and a matching polo neck jumper. Everything she wanted, and more, from his damp dark hair to his bare toes.

  Their eyes locked, and the desire his radiated sent hot tingles dancing over her skin. His lips curled in a captivating smile, and the yearning to have him close, body-hugging close, overrode reason as she willed him nearer.

  Her heart blipped when he gestured to the settee and sat, leaving space between them. His slow caress of her cheek with tender fingertips sent her pulse soaring like a rocket launch.

  ‘If I kiss you, I can’t promise I’ll be able to stop.’ Rough, raw with emotion. ‘I can’t...don’t want to fight the aching need to have you here with me every day, to hold you in my arms while I sleep, and wake to your sweet smile every morning.’

  Butterflies beat frantically in her stomach, and her brain turned into liquid mush. He was echoing her greatest wish. She was aware of her heart racing and her lips curling in an effort to emulate his smile.

  His thumb brushed over her mouth, her lips parted and the tip of her tongue slipped out to taste his skin. He shuddered, sending a wave of satisfaction through her, followed by a warning signal in her head.

  Reason clamoured for her to tell him now, hold nothing back before he kissed her. Before they both lost control. She took his hand in both of hers and lowered them to the cushion. He immediately covered them with his other.

  Looking into his buffalo grass-green eyes that had captured her heart at first sight, she prayed he saw the love in hers. She squared her shoulders, took a quivering breath, and jumped right in.

  ‘I’m illegitimate. Mum was my birth mother’s sister.’

  For Jack this moment instantly become one of his treasured memories—the moment she gave him her complete and utter trust, even if she didn’t realise. It was an honour he would never endanger as long as he lived.

  The blush on her cheeks accentuated the pallor of her skin. Her beautiful walnut-brown eyes held an enthralling mixture of uncertainty and hope. For him, her silent plea was as clear as if she’d spoken out loud.

  Please believe in me.

  His heart twisted. She’d been suffering the same pangs of despair he had. Lifting their joined hands, he closed the offending gap then laid them on his thigh.

  He’d been prepared to beg, on his knees if he had to; he’d been prepared to accept friendship if that was all she’d offered. Then he’d have determined to resolve her perceived objection to their being together.

  ‘I don’t know who my father is and I have no idea if my birth mother is dead or alive. Her last short phone call was from Los Angeles fifteen years ago.’

  Her husky whisper triggered the release of tension in his muscles, replaced by elation that she was keeping nothing back. Drawing her close, he cradled her head on his shoulder, and grunted with satisfaction as she slid her arms around him. Bending his head to catch every word, he leant his cheek against her hair, relishing its silkiness on his skin.

  ‘Tell me.’ He kept his voice gentle and persuasive, and made soothing motions with his hands.

  ‘She left me with her sister when I was two days old, and I only have a vague recollection of a lady who visited once or twice when I was young. My only feeling towards her is eternal gratitude that she gave me to Mum to raise.’

  She paused, lost in a world Jack couldn’t even imagine, then resumed, her voice more assured, strengthened with love.

  ‘Mum was, and always will be, my mother, and I’ll never regret a moment of my life—except for losing her too soon. All my memories are happy and of being loved unconditionally.’

  A deep tremor racked her body, and his arms tightened. It hurt having no way to help except to be there. In future, he’d encourage her to tell him more about this special lady who had instilled so many redeeming qualities in the woman he loved.

  She raised her head, her resolute expression telling him she had more to say. It came out in a rush.

  ‘My parentage will impact on your family. I’m public school educated, don’t know how to make small talk to strangers at parties or dress for elaborate occasions. I’ll never have the social graces Mel, Val and the others are ingrained with; it can’t be learnt. I’d be an embarrassment to you and your family. You should...’

  Jack’s jaw had dropped as she spoke, adrenaline stormed through him and he grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her at arm’s length.

  ‘You sent me away, were prepared never to see me again because of a misguided belief you aren’t good enough for us? Dammit, Cassie, that’s crazy.’

  She quivered under his fingers, her lips trembled and she blinked to hold back tears. And he, normally so macho and undaunted by danger, broke.

  ‘Oh, Cassie, my love.’

  He hauled her close and kissed her with all the pent-up hunger from four days and nights of not being able or allowed the pleasure. His hands stroked and caressed her back, her hips, her shoulders—anywhere they could reach. He couldn’t get enough of her softness and warmth under his palms.

  Her hands skimmed over his shoulders where they’d landed, over his collar and onto his skin, sending prickles of fire speeding down his spine. Her fingers teased into his hair, anchoring his head right where he wanted to stay. Her lips parted, his parted, and he...pulled away, chest heaving and every cell screaming rebellion.

  He framed her beautiful stunned face, and dropped a brief kiss on the tip of her nose. Shaking his head from side to side, he searched for the right words, and felt them rasp his throat as he tried to explain why all she’d said made no difference to their future together.

  Their future together.

  It sounded good. It felt right.

  ‘My precious, adorable Cassie. You captured my heart from the second I saw you, though I wasn’t aware of how powerful an emotion you’d evoked. Now I love you even more for your courage, and your trust in me.’

  Her eyes softened and she lifted her hands that had fallen to her sides and laid them, fingers splayed, on his chest, one over his rapidly beating heart.

  ‘Temptress.’ He groaned with need, had to resist long enough to make his final confession.

  ‘When I carry you up those stairs, I want nothing hidden between us, my darling. Let me explain why I am who I am, then there’ll be no more secrets.’

  * * *

  Cassie gazed into earnest green eyes shining with love and saw her future, bright and full of joy. She raised one of his hands from her cheek, twisted her head and kissed his palm. The tremors that racked his body echoed in hers.

  ‘I feel like I’ve been released from shackles that bound me since Tara died. I’d rebelled against my parents and the career they chose for me. I’m ashamed of some of the things I did, the drinking and smoking. And there were always girls willing to date me and my friends because we had money and fast cars.r />
  ‘Mel’s home was my refuge, and Bob my confidant who kept me grounded with calm advice and no judgement. Away from them, it was as if I had no safety catch on my temper, and I would just let fly.’

  He fell silent, and the bleak expression in his eyes confirmed he was remembering that fateful day. Cassie felt his heart hammering, and loved him even more for his vulnerable side, that he’d allowed her to see it. She hugged him harder, letting him know she understood.

  ‘Tara was as selfish and hot-headed as me. Our fights grew more bitter and accusing. I was a jerk, she was a spoilt brat. There was no way we should have been together, and I’d intended to break up before the trip but she’d been looking forward to it.’

  He stopped talking, shook his head as if to clear it then suddenly pushed upright and set her onto her feet.

  ‘Let’s go for a walk. Find some of that fresh brisk air you like so much.’

  ‘Yes, please.’ They’d share more details another day. Revealing long-held, deep-set feelings was emotionally draining. Cool, crisp spring air would be welcome and refreshing.

  He helped her into her coat, picked up his keys and ushered her into the hall. Watching him shrug into his jacket, she felt a bubble of amusement rise in her throat and couldn’t stop it from escaping.

  ‘What?’

  His endearing puzzled expression gave her a heart-warming vision of the future with a challenging child. Hopefully two or three. Or more. Pointing down, she managed to choke out a few words amid her glee.

  ‘Intending to paddle?’

  He stared at his bare feet as if he wasn’t sure where his shoes and socks were, grinned and, in one smooth movement, swept her up into a long, deep, pulse-shattering kiss. She swayed when he let her go, bracing her hand on the wall for support.

  ‘See what you do to me. Don’t move.’

  He took the stairs two at a time and came down almost as fast wearing sneakers but no socks. He stole a quick kiss, linked their fingers and opened the front door.